


you're just like an angel (your skin makes me cry)

by LMoriarty



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Wings, Eavesdropping, Episode: s02e18 The Good the Bad and the Crispy, Episode: s03e01 They're Back Aren't They?, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Light Angst, Post-Episode: s02e18 The Good the Bad and the Crispy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 06:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13781253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LMoriarty/pseuds/LMoriarty
Summary: Chloe Decker wasn't mad. She wasn't furious, or angry, or even upset. She had been hurt, at first, but that faded to disappointment, which faded to indifference.She had known all along that she would never be able to change Lucifer, but when she listened to the voicemail telling her he was done hiding, Chloe believed him. Except, he didn't show up. Not that night, or the next night, or the next.(Until he did).





	you're just like an angel (your skin makes me cry)

Chloe Decker wasn't mad. She wasn't furious, or angry, or even upset. She had been hurt, at first, but that faded to disappointment, which faded to indifference.

She had known all along that she would never be able to change Lucifer, but when she listened to the voicemail telling her he was done hiding, Chloe believed him. Except, he didn't show up. Not that night, or the next night, or the next. She went to Lux to demand answers, except he wasn't there. For a brief moment, Chloe thought — hoped, actually, which was awful but still how she felt — that maybe something had happened. That he was in danger, or injured, that there was an explanation for his absence that was not 'just kidding, I'm not done hiding'.

Except.

Maze was furious.

And if Maze was mad — Maze who was always by Lucifer's side, who loved him, who would do anything for him, even torture, even kill, maybe even  _die_  — then there just... wasn't another explanation. If he was missing, she'd be searching, and Maze  _wasn't searching_.

So, Chloe was disappointed. Disappointed in Lucifer, and disappointed in herself for actually expecting him to show up, to  _change_ , to be anything other than the man he was.

But then seconds, minutes, hours, days,  _weeks_ later... he was back.

Chloe didn't know, at first. He didn't text, didn't call, didn't break into her house to make breakfast. He didn't show up at the first crime scene, or the next. But Maze had seen him, and she let Chloe know. Well, had barged into their house cursing up a swarm about Lucifer, which clued her in pretty quickly.

Chloe wasn't  _hurt_ that Lucifer didn't contact her, exactly. Well, she was, but... the indifference was still there, keeping her calm, asking her why she even cared. Because Chloe  _did_ care, even though she didn't want to, even though after all these betrayals she probably  _shouldn't_.

And it was  _because_ she cared that she was here, now, at Lux. In the elevator, going up to the penthouse, going to  _Lucifer_.

Chloe didn't know what she was going to say, if she was going to be able to speak at all, but it ended up not being a problem. The elevator doors opened, but as Chloe walked out, she could hear... yelling. Between Lucifer and what sounded like Amenadiel. Chloe didn't have any intention of eavesdropping on the fight, but.

But.

She needed to talk to Lucifer. To get an explanation, or at least  _something_ , some sort of excuse. Chloe didn't feel like leaving and coming back later, because what if he was  _gone_ again? What if this was her only chance?

So she sat down, just out of view, to wait. To  _listen_ , just a little, because they were loud, because she couldn't block them out, because Chloe was a  _detective_ and curiosity — for she was most certainly curious — was what fueled her entire career.

"Was it  _you_?" Lucifer was asking, voice raised, angry and maybe even  _scared_. That part was probably just Chloe's imagination, because this was  _Lucifer_ , but. It  _sounded_ real. "Just... Amenadiel. Tell me the truth. Was it  _you_? Because I can't think of anyone who could've— who  _would've_ —"

"Luci," Amenadiel said, softer. "I don't know what you're  _talking_ about."

"I was at the  _hospital_ ," he said, even louder than before. Lucifer quieted, for a moment, and then continued, "I was leaving a voicemail for the Detective, talking about how I would finally tell her the truth. About who I am. About  _what_ I am. And then... well, I suppose I don't entirely know. I imagine someone knocked me out, or at the very least I somehow  _got_ knocked out. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in the middle of a  _desert_ , which was awful in and of itself, except. I had my wings back. I had my—  _fuck_. I never wanted them back, I  _cut them off_ , I  _burned them_ , and yet... here they are." There was a flurrying noise, like birds flapping their wings, and Lucifer's voice raised again, "Thanks a  _fucking lot_ , Dad."

Amenadiel sounded dazed, like he was actually looking at wings, which was impossible, "Your wings—"

"Yes, my  _wings_ , my fucking—" Lucifer sighed, and if Chloe had to guess she'd say it was through his teeth. The strange bird noise repeated, but this time in reverse, like the wings settled back into place instead of revealing themselves. Except. There were no wings. There couldn't be, because he  _wasn't the Devil_. Did he actually have  _birds_ somewhere over there? "But... weeks have passed. Numerous weeks, I just found out, and I don't know what happened. Because I was there. And then I wasn't. And I don't know— I mean, weeks, right? That's a lot of time, in human standards. And I have no memory of what I did, or where I was, or what  _happened_."

Chloe froze. She thought that he had left— they  _all_ thought he'd left, her and Maze and Linda and Dan and clearly even Amenadiel — but he  _hadn't_. He'd been in  _danger_. Actual, literal danger, for  _weeks_. And she, Chloe Decker, someone who knew Lucifer, who should've  _known better_... had  _hoped_ for that.

How awful did that make  _her_?

"So," he said, slightly quieter. Subdued, just a little. "Was it you?"

"No," Amenadiel said. "It was not."

"Then  _who was it_?" Lucifer pressured, upset again. "A different sibling?  _Dad_? I don't— I left because I wanted to be  _free_. No matter what anyone else said. No matter what  _Dad_ said. Yes, I was furious about the humans, yes, I stopped following orders, yes, I rebelled. But I did so because I wanted to be  _free_. And He tossed me in Hell for it."

The religious, what, metaphors? They were a bit much, especially since they didn't know she was there. The brothers either truly believed that they were angelic, were really invested in the lie, or just found the similarities between the Devil's story and Lucifer's fitting. She hoped it was the latter, if only because it was the only vaguely sane option.

"Lucifer," said Amenadiel, exasperated. "You hurt people. Don't blame Father for that."

"It was my  _job_ to hurt people," Lucifer snarled. "It's what He  _told me to do_. I took things too far, time and again, but that's why I was His favorite. He said jump, and you and our siblings asked how high. I simply  _jumped_."

Amenadiel's voice raised for the first time since her arrival, actually angered by these words. "We followed  _every single one_ of His orders—"

"To the letter, yes, I'm aware, but first you  _got_   _specifics_ ," Lucifer interrupted. "When He asked me to harm someone, I didn't ask how much or in what way. I just harmed them. Obliterated them. Innocent people, half the time— the punishments didn't fit the crime, these days it wouldn't be a crime at all, but I didn't  _care_. Because it's what He wanted." Something clanged, like a glass being set down. "It's what He wanted, but it's not what  _I_ wanted. So I said no, one day. And He had Michael throw me out. My  _brother_ threw me out of Heaven, into Hell, watched me  _burn_ as I fell— can you truly fault me for hating Him, our siblings,  _Heaven_ after that? Wouldn't  _you_?"

There was a heavy sigh. "Luci..."

"That's a no, then," Lucifer guessed. He sounded... not angry, like he was before, but upset nonetheless. Disappointed. "Figures."

"It doesn't matter what  _I_ think, though, does it, brother?" Amenadiel countered. "He has clearly forgiven you, an honor I haven't been given. Your wings have returned, you should be proud—"

"I was  _kidnapped_ , I have no memory of what I did for  _weeks_ , and I was  _violated_ ," Lucifer spat. "I didn't  _want it_ , I didn't—" his voice broke. "I just need to know  _who_. Because if it wasn't you, then someone else must be here, and... the Detective could be in danger. That seems to be the ongoing theme with this family. You tried to kill her, then Uriel, then our mother— if someone else is here then surely they'll try their hand at it too. So.  Tell me, brother: has anyone visited you? Has there been any sign of celestial beings? Has anything changed since I vanished, at all?"

Chloe swallowed. Her hands were shaking, just a little, though she didn't notice.  _You tried to kill her_ , Lucifer had said. Amenadiel... had tried to kill her? She had a  _daughter_ , and he tried to— and then Uriel, whoever that was, and his  _mother_? What, Charlotte Richards?  _That_ mother? She had  _Trixie_ , they  _knew_ that, how could they be so  _callous_? Her daughter didn't deserve to grow up without a mother, and— and—

Chloe really, really hated Lucifer's family.

Not just for that, even. She hadn't known about their attempts on her life until only seconds previous, and she had found herself disliking them long before then. The insights eavesdropping had given her were... alarming at best. His brother, Michael — and  _seriously_ , what was up with all the religious names? It's like their father  _wanted_ them to think they were celestial beings — had kicked him out of 'Heaven' at the orders of their father. Chloe knew it wasn't actually Heaven, but Lucifer's real home, wherever that was. And then he was in... Hell? Living on the streets, probably. She didn't get the burning bit though, or what the wing comments actually meant, and if he lived on the streets then how could he be so  _rich_ , and—

It just didn't make  _sense_. Any of it, half the time. But Chloe got the gist, which is that Lucifer's family — his father, especially — sucked. Really fucking sucked. She'd like to meet him, if only so she could yell at the man. Or slap him. Or  _shoot_ him— no. Nope. Chloe was  _not_ willing to shoot someone just because they hurt Lucifer. Nada. Except... he seemed abusive, didn't he? Which was a crime. So, maybe—  _no_. Absolutely not.

"Is the Detective okay?" Lucifer asked, distantly. Chloe had to strain to hear. "I realize she is... very capable, and doesn't need my help to solve cases. She certainly doesn't need me to protect her, though I would do my best regardless. But. I made her a promise, and I didn't follow through, no matter the... let's say  _circumstances_. And then I was gone for weeks. I... imagine that it hurt her."

"She thought you left willingly," Amenadiel offered. "Thought you  _ran_ , no doubt, since you have a tendency to do so. Decker never spoke to me directly, but overall I'm under the impression that she was rather indifferent to your absence."

No, no, no, she wasn't  _indifferent_ , she'd tried to be but she  _wasn't_ , no—

"Indifferent," echoed Lucifer. He sounded confused, but more than that, he sounded  _hurt_. Because of  _Chloe_. Christ.

"She didn't  _care_ ," Amenadiel clarified, and  _fuck that_. Fuck. That.

Before Amenadiel could make things worse, before Lucifer decided to  _believe_ him, Chloe stood and swiftly made her way over to where the brothers were standing. "Of course I cared," she said, because that was it. The last straw. The only straw, perhaps, probably, and it was gone now.

They spun around to face her. Amenadiel looked surprised to see her, whereas Lucifer just looked  _awful_ ; burnt skin, sandy hair, ripped suit. She had expected it, after what she had overheard, but to  _see_ it... that was another thing entirely. She couldn't help but note a disturbing lack of birds, but she's positive there was another explanation for the wing noises.

"Did you?" Amenadiel prompted. He didn't sound like he believed her.

Chloe ignored him, eyes only on Lucifer. Her partner. Her  _friend_. Who she had abandoned. "Of  _course_ I cared that you were gone, Lucifer. I cared  _too much_ , actually, it was a bit of a problem. So I... um, tried not to," Chloe admitted. She paused, and then frowned, turning to Amenadiel. "Sorry, but. Do you really need to be here for this?"

"You were there for my conversation with Lucifer," Amenadiel reminded her, which, fair enough.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "You can go," he said, dismissive. Amenadiel scoffed, but did in fact leave, which Chloe appreciated.

She squared her shoulders, and went back to her statement. "Anyway, as I was saying... I tried not to care, but I still did. That never— I couldn't change that," Chloe said. She frowned a little, the corners of her mouth dipping downward, at the mere  _prospect_ of not caring about Lucifer anymore. There was probably a realization hidden somewhere in there, but now was not the time to find it. "Are you— are you okay? You're very... burnt. And you were gone for days,  _weeks_. I realize you don't know what happened, but. Are you in pain?"

"Detective," he greeted, cautiously, since he hadn't actually said anything to her yet. Lucifer didn't answer her questions, which was rather telling.

Something clicked inside her mind, and she gaped at Lucifer. "Have you even gone to the hospital yet? Oh my god. Oh my g— we need to go. They need to check you out." Chloe moved to grab him, drag him to a doctor, but Lucifer's fingers circled around her wrist and held her in place.

"You can check me out anytime, love," Lucifer offered, classic smile in place. A diversion technique, perhaps, to bring her attention elsewhere, to bother her until she gave up— had it always been that? A way to distract her? Chloe glowered at him, and he sighed, letting go. "So, how much of that did you hear, exactly?"

Chloe hesitated.

Lucifer winced. "A lot, then," he guessed. "I can explain."

"You were kidnapped, held captive for nearly an entire month, and then woke up in the desert with no memory of what happened," Chloe summarized. She stilled, heart caught in her throat. "And," she added, softer, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes, "I didn't try to find you."

"I've left before," Lucifer said, as if to assure her, to make her feel better. It actually hurt a little, how much he  _cared_. "It's not your fault."

"Not for  _this long_ ," she said, voice cracking, because it was  _true_. A couple days, sure, but never  _weeks_. She held a hand up to her mouth, suddenly realizing the severity of it all. "Oh my god. Oh my  _god_ , Lucifer, I abandoned you, I—"

"Need to stop mentioning my Father?" tried Lucifer. "I agree."

"Stop making jokes, christ, I didn't even think for a second you were in pain, I thought it was just some..." Chloe grimaced. "Maze wasn't searching for you. And I knew she would be, if you had been taken. So I figured... you hadn't been, you know? I figured you were  _fine_. But. I, uh. Hoped you weren't."

Lucifer blinked. "You hoped I was..."

"In pain," Chloe clarified. "Suffering. Bleeding. Dying. And so on, and so forth. But only because I knew you  _weren't_. Except... you were. And I had  _wanted_ that, and— and—"

Lucifer looked conflicted, even confused, about what to do; eyes wide and hands twitching as he tried to make up his mind. It took a moment, but he clearly made a decision because then he was moving forward, wrapping arms around her and pulling her in against his chest. Chloe let him, even though in any other circumstance she would've tried to pull away. "Hey, hey, hey," he murmured, forgoing his usual comments. "It's all right, Detective. I understand. And I'm okay, see?" Lucifer tightened his grip, letting her cling to him, allowing both of them that comfort. "I'm just fine."

"But you  _weren't_ ," she said into his chest, eyes wet. "I should've been searching and I  _wasn't_."

"I don't mind," he assured her, mouth moving against her hair. "I... realize I've hurt you before. It makes sense to think I would do it again. People don't change."

" _You've_ changed," Chloe insisted.

"Ah, but I'm not  _people_ , am I?" Lucifer pointed out. He pulled away, slowly, keeping his hands on her shoulders. "Now, I made you a promise, Detective, one I would like to keep."

Chloe hesitated. She  _did_ want to know more about him, but. She already knew everything she needed to know, didn't she? "You don't need to," Chloe told him. "I know who you are, Lucifer Morningstar. And I know  _what_ you are, and that's my partner and my friend. You don't need to finally admit you're not the Devil—"

"Well, actually," offered Lucifer, "I wasn't going to admit I'm  _not_ the Devil so much as I was going to prove I  _am_."

Chloe stared. Then she sighed, because of  _course_ he was. "All right," she said, humoring him, "go for it."

"Brilliant," said Lucifer. His face scrunched up, and Chloe waited, and waited, and waited, and—

Lucifer frowned. "You're not reacting."

"You haven't  _done_ anything," Chloe said.

"What do you mean I haven't—" his hands flew up to his face, feeling around for something. His frown deepened. "Oh, great, thanks a  _lot_ , Dad," Lucifer scoffed. "Fine. We'll have to do this the old fashioned way. Are you ready?"

Chloe looked at him, long and hard, just to check if he was serious. He was. "Yes, Lucifer, I'm 'ready'," she told him, not actually thinking anything was going to happen, except.

Except.

Something  _did_.

Wings — real, legitimate, fluffy  _wings_  — unfurled behind him, accompanied by the same noise she had heard before, because it had been  _him_  the entire time.  _Lucifer_ was the bird. Lucifer... was an angel? Except no, that's not what he was showing her, he said he was telling her the  _truth_ , which meant—

Lucifer was the  _Devil_.

Her friend, partner, guy-who-once-kissed-her... was the Devil. She had let  _the Devil_ , a man who was quite literally Satan, near her child; had let him hold Trixie and feed her and— and—

And Lucifer had never hid that from her.

A lot of comments that, at the time, never made any sense, were understandable now. Things like "I  _punished_ evil, not  _was_ evil", and "society got me wrong"— paraphrased or not, they were  _true_. She got that, now. And damn if his wings weren't absolutely stunning.

"Detective?" Lucifer prompted, quietly, as he tucked his wings away. He looked at her sadly, like he was scared of what she was going to say, like he was waiting for her to scream and run away. Chloe had no intention of ever doing that.

"Huh," she said. "The Devil kissed me."

He stared. And kept staring, up until he managed to get his emotions back under his control, yanking on a mask to cover up his fears. Lucifer grinned, but it was so fake that it  _hurt_ , "Well, I can certainly do it again if—"

" _Lucifer_ ," Chloe interrupted. "Don't. You don't need to hide. I get it. I understand." She smiled, gently, reaching out and taking his hand in hers. "Thank you for trusting me."

Lucifer looked baffled. "You're not scared."

"You're the Devil," said Chloe, smile widening. "Why would I be scared?"

"You truly are extraordinary, aren't you, Detective?" he asked, pleasantly surprised. "I suppose I should've expected that."

Chloe glanced down at their entwined hands, and Lucifer did the same. They really did fit together effortlessly, the Devil and his Detective. Lucifer and Chloe. Chloe and Lucifer.

She grinned.

Chloe looked back up at him, taking in the injuries he was still sporting. "We have a lot of things to talk about, including figuring out what happened to you," she said. "And I have a  _lot_ of questions, but before we do all of that, I need a drink... or ten," Chloe squeezed his hand, "And a hug."

Lucifer pulled his hand away from hers, opening up his arms and waiting patiently for her to step into his grasp. She did so, letting him wrap his arms around her, and then his wings too, when they revealed themselves again. Quietly, within the depths of her own mind, she allowed herself the realization she had been doing her best to fight off.

Indifferent wasn't a word that could be used to describe anyone's feelings towards Lucifer, let alone  _Chloe Decker's_ , because Chloe?

She was at least a little bit in love with the Devil.

**Author's Note:**

> i genuinely don't know why i wrote this but uhhhhhhh hmu @ [tumblr](https://laniemoriarty.tumblr.com/) or in the comments if u have questions or comments


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